Saturday, September 13, 2014

Changing the Face of In Search of A Soul

We are growing! According to our statistics page, we have reached over 42,000 viewers! While this is simply amazing, its also a little disheartening that there are so darn many of us going through this.

Nimrod has filed a motion to amend the final order with the court. He's mostly objecting to the income determination used to calculate child support (shocking, right!) Those of you who have been with us since the beginning might remember that I spent most of 2012 in court with him trying to stop child support. So far, the court has held him to an earning capacity of $50,000. 

...and he's trying to get decision making rights back.

I wont be adding the briefs and orders to the blog until this is over.

 In the meantime, I've been doing a lot of thinking about the blog and what direction I want to take. Obviously, there are many more people fighting a sociopath than I ever believed possible. When I began this battle, I had almost no learning resources readily available to help me understand the process. What I most wanted was advice on strategies. So, I'm thinking about adding more information on communicating and coping with sociopathy, as well as legal strategies that worked in my case.

I have been so blessed in the outcome of my case. I want to give back.

What I'd like to know is this: what would you guys like to know? What resources do you feel you most need? What helps?

As always, if you don't feel comfortable commenting, send me an email or message through the blog.


  1. My husband and I succeeded in removing his two sons from their sociopathic mother however his daughter was left with her mom because she was "thriving." We have physical but joint custody of the boys, she has physical but joint custody of her. We are new into our journey, court decision August 7th however no visitation in place because, shocking, she isn't agreeing to anything. It has been 8 weeks since we have seen my stepdaughter, the longest my husband has ever been away from her. I am scouring the internet for co-parenting techniques as we are blown away by her viciousness. Thank you for this Blog and Thank the Lord I stumbled upon it. I would love to see legal strategies as we hope to obtain sole custody, communication techniques, and coping. I haven't been able to get through everything on here yet but I am working on it.

    1. omg i am so sorry to hear this. my husband got sole custody of his two kids from his sociopath exwife. they are often "all or nothing" type parents and they will not agree to anything if it makes your life easier. they are all about what they can do to hurt you and ur husband, regardless if she hurts ur kids.
      our battle was a long and painful one, but we prevailed with her only receiving limited supervised visitation in the end. we have done that now for almost 4 years.
      i would recommend hiring an AGGRESSIVE AND COMPETENT lawyer. and that means going to court and watch them in a high conflict custody case and watch how they do things. and read reviews and ratings, and also see if there is any misconduct to read.
      it will cost u to fight her but if u want to prevail its worth it.
      then keep detailed journals about EVERYTHING and that includes witnesses signing and leaving their contact info. (sociopaths have a hard time keeping up with their lies anyway so if u keep up with the facts, u bury them in their own lies later)
      demand, (and i say demand because she wont agree and the judge may not want to deal with it) a homestudy or custody eval.
      do not communicate with them unless absolutely necessary! and if u do make sure its thru email or text (that can be backed up and printed in simple format) and keep it short and sweet. do not engage in any thing that could be misconstrued as aggravating the situation.
      and get very specific dates and time for everything and get specific language in the orders. leaving nothing to the imagination. because if there is a loophole they will take advantage and twist it to their use.
      we recently moved out of state and a long way away because we were tired of the constant litigation and crap with her. she only had severely restricted and supervised visits yet still demanded to a judge that she have custody and to make us stay within the same state. but she didnt win, her supervised visitation continues (thankfully) and we have been not so burdened with her presence.
      hope this helps!!!

  2. Good site. Food for thought.

  3. I think it would be helpful to know how to even speak to a sociopath when shuffling kids back and forth. Is there ever a time to engage in the conversation or should I always ignore what he's saying for my sanity? For example, he calls me crazy and tells me I need to get on medication sometimes, randomly, inbetween texts about visitation. I've already told him to stop and I know he'll never stop, but I tell him every once in a while to let him know it's not okay. I am only interested in talking to him about his visitation schedule, but he always finds a way to fit his insults into the equation. Is stonewalling a good idea in this situation, or should I read every text to determine what the visitation schedule is, and somehow down the line learn how to put up a wall and not let his derogatory statements get through to my emotions?

  4. Unfortunately I found you too late. Our final custody order, amended twice mind you, was issued on August 20, 2015. It all started in August 2010 when we had shared custody after our break-up, paused for a few years then picked up again when I was slapped with false allegations in a TPO in Aug 2012. My Ex is a woman and so am I, she's a sociopath or narcissist or perhaps both. While I say the ordeal is over , although I have a feeling she will crave drama again and I will have to do battle once more. Although I lost the custody battle, I have regular visitation with my son, now 12 and I only have 5 more years of this intense person that craves drama, pain and control. It would be great to help others learn from my experiences. My battle with this individual didn't break me because I know who I am and my friends stood by me through it all. God Bless