Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Is He Deaf or Just a Sociopath: Communicating With A Skin-Walker

Or rather, the push of the "record" button!

“It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf.”
Walter Lippmann

He died almost 40 years ago, but Walter Lippmann was a very wise man.

If ever there was an occasion to laugh my hind end off, it surely had to be during deposition when the sociopath stated, “We have trouble with communication”- referring to himself and I. Trouble is an understatement. You can't communicate with a sociopath. Period. The "audience" is deaf.

The problem is two fold. First, the sociopath isn't going to listen to anything that isn't about him. After all, EVERYTHING is about him. If its not, it should be. Understandable considering a sociopath's extreme ego and sense of entitlement.

Second, the “facts” can always be re-arranged so that the story benefits the sociopath. Here is where the manipulation of reality comes into play. YOU didn't hear what you heard, you only think you did. Reality is subject to each person's interpretation; hence it is just that YOU took it the wrong way.

I have a different belief. I think there are no alternate versions of reality... there is only one reality. Although it is usually 180 degrees away from what the sociopath chooses to accept as reality, I call it “the truth.”

Here is a great example of how the sociopath has tried to twist reality in our custody case regarding my allegation he took the child to the Department of Health for vaccinations and failed to notify me:

1. He HAD to take our child to the health department for vaccines (instead of his pediatrician) because I didn't give him the insurance card.
2. He DID go out of his way to notify me of that fact at the very next custody exchange that he had sought medical care.
3. He took my son to the Health Department because it was closer. BUT it wasn't the Health Department, it was the medical clinic beside the hospital. (Nimrod concurs and corrects the sociopath's testimony to reflect it was most certainly the medical clinic).
4. He can't remember exactly what happened because it was too long ago.
5. He is not sure if it was the Health Department or the medical clinic, but he knows it was beside the hospital. The Health Department is beside the courthouse, so he knows the difference- he thinks. But he's not sure.

(An uncomfortable silence followed when my attorney asked the sociopath to read him the letterhead at the top of the vaccine record, which the sociopath so kindly pulled from his briefcase and my attorney promptly confiscated, stating TENNESSEE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH.)

Now, my version of the REALITY of this event is significantly different from his. The truth is that he told me he didn't have to tell me anything, that double vaccinating was not dangerous, I am a know-it-all, that the health department would be our son's new doctor, and that nobody- not even the pediatrician- was going to tell him what to do.

To the court this looks like a clear case of “he said, she said,” right? Whose version of reality is true? Can I prove reality?

I believe so. It just so happens I audio taped the confrontation. Now, REALITY is beginning to look a lot like the TRUTH.  Wonder what Nimrod will think when he listens to THAT audio recording.

Counseling is another great example of our "trouble" communicating. At a custody exchange, I give the sociopath a note saying,

Dear Ex-hole,

(Okay... so I didn't really call him an ex-hole, but I wanted too)

 I wanted to let you know that I am taking (our son) to counseling. If you recall, you gave me permission in front of (name omitted). The counselor's name is (omitted). The business card is attached.  You are listed on the paperwork and as an emergency contact. If you have any questions, please let me know".

He responds immediately after reading the note- again on tape- by stating he refuses to move the exchange site. Did I just lose you? Don't worry- I was lost too because the note said NOTHING about the exchange location. I tell him I think he misunderstood, perhaps he should read the note again. He refuses, of course.  Another great example of our "trouble" communicating.

I could write pages of examples. My advice: if you try to communicate in person with the sociopath, audio record it. If you communicate in writing, record yourself giving him the information. Check your state laws to be sure it is legal. In Tennessee, only one party has to be aware the conversation is being recorded.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

A Sociopath's Idea of Early Child Care: Stay and Play

Sorry it has been awhile since my last post. The sociopath's deposition finally took place yesterday. As a whole, I am pleased with my attorney's performance. His experience and professionalism were apparent. Nimrod was present, of course, and he did try to help the sociopath come up with the right answers. Hysterical considering neither one of them know a darn thing about anything.

One of my goals was to find out where and who had been caring for my child during the sociopath's parenting time. There really was no good answer here. I knew that he was either being left in the care of any person who will babysit for free, or he was forced to go to work with the sociopath. No matter what, the answer was going to be hard to hear.

I, the child's mother, am not allowed to see my son during the sociopath's parenting time... despite his sworn testimony to the judge that the child would be in my care during work hours. I work for myself, from home. So, where does my 5 year old son go when the sociopath is at work? To Stay and Play.

Now, this threw me for a loop. I am very familiar with most of the child care options in our little county. Where the heck is Stay and Play? Even more shocking... the sociopath pays for child care?

As the attorney began to get into more detailed questions about where Stay and Play is located, the sociopath begins to smirk. The precise location is.... his truck. Yup.

Now, for those of you who don't know- the sociopath is a horse shoer by trade. This means he drives around to different people's houses and trims or shoes horses. One horse takes about an hour, depending on what he does. He carries a propane-fired forge in his truck for heating and reshaping metal shoes.

My son had told me that he has to sit in the truck when his “dad” works. I had assumed that this was a one time deal... not the normal routine. This includes when it is snowing and 10 degrees outside, and when it is hot and 100 degrees outside. For four to five hours at a time. With no supervision, other than when the sociopath happens to stop and go check on him.

So, what type of childcare does a sociopath find appropriate for a 5 year old child?
The sociopath points to a spot and says “Stay” and “Play!”
And thinks it is funny.