Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Celebrating 3 Months of Freedom From The Sociopath's Stalking

After 2 years, I think the stalker finally gets it!

As I am gearing up for the depositions in my contempt and custody modification hearing, I have been organizing all of my documentation into a nifty binder for my new attorney. I came across my old stalking logs and realized an astonishing fact: I have been free from the sociopaths stalking for 3 whole months now. Whoop!

I am so excited to be able to stand in my own front yard without fear. I no longer have to plan how I am going to deal with his intense scrutiny of my daily life. I can breathe again. I don't know from day to day if my peace will last, but for now I am in a stalker free zone!

It is a victory but quite ironic how, after 2 years of ruthlessly exploring every avenue to combat his relentless stalking, the win came completely by accident. Before I tell you what happened, I want to share what I tried and what did not work.

  1. I visited every online resource for stalking that I could find. There was some useful information about how to document the behavior, but very little real advice on how to stop it.
  2. I talked to someone at the local domestic violence shelter. She could offer a lot of sympathy, but no help. She did offer to let me stay at the shelter in order to hide from him, but this would have accomplished nothing. I couldn't stay there forever.
  3. I visited a stalking resource task force website that recommended moving and changing my name. This is not possible because I have forced shared parenting with the sociopath. I will never leave my son behind.
  4. I had my attorney complain to his attorney. Ya right.
  5. I called the police. They dismissed my complaints and refused to fill out incident reports, telling me there was no law against watching someone from a public place- call back if he tresspasses onto my property.
  6. I had my attorney write a letter to the sheriff outlining the state stalking statute and requiring the deputies to fill out incident reports (at a cost of $250).
  7. I filed another official complaint with the sheriff’s department during the next incident. I had an eye witness who included a verbal and written statement.
  8. I had 4 friends and neighbor write letters to the sheriff’s department stating that they knew both of us and are concerned for my safety.
  9. I wrote out my own statement chronicling the events, abuse, threats and stalking. I included audio recordings, videos, and photographs to back up my statement. Copies of everything went on file and to a trusted outside source in the event that something happened to me.
  10. I vented to my own therapist when the frustration was too much to bear. She also expressed great concern about the sociopath's potential for violence, but couldn't do much more than refer me to the domestic violence office.

I had been videotaping the sociopath driving past my house multiple times per day and laying in wait at various locations. I also kept a detailed log of dates, times, which vehicle he was driving, and if anyone was with him. I photographed his friends vehicles driving by my house and breaking their necks to try to see who and what were at my house. I planned on using this evidence to show the judge how unreasonably obsessed this thing is.

During the time that all of this was going on, the sociopath was also facing criminal charges for assaulting a witness (who lives 2 houses down from mine) in the custody case. The District Attorney agreed to retire the case for a year, with the provision that the sociopath stay off of the road. Of course, he didn't and the DA pulled the case out of retirement due to a violation of the court order.

They asked me for the video tapes and logs of the sociopath driving on the road. I declined to give them the evidence... at which time I was told that it would be subject to subpena anyway. Fine by me, but I was frustrated. I had done all this work for MY custody case- not someone else's case. The sociopath didn't know this evidence existed! I had been collecting it in secret (except for close friends and family).

The sociopath enters another agreement with the DA and the criminal case is returned to retirement, with the explicit instructions that it will be immediately placed on the active docket if “any further credible evidence arises” that indicate the sociopath violated the judge's order.

All of this time, I have been holding my breath, waiting for him to violate the new agreement. He hasn't. I was confused by his sudden compliance... until a telephone conversation two weeks ago.

I can't trust you... you are sneaky. You have been taping me the whole time and you were going to give it to the judge and put me in jail!”

(Skin- Walker lingo for:: I can no longer count on you to be my victim. How dare you prove that I am a liar and hold me accountable for my behavior!)

It turns out that the DA told Nimrod (who represented the sociopath on this matter too) that there was videotape evidence proving he continued to drive on my road. And, it turns out that discovering he was being video taped proved to be the best deterrent EVER against stalking by a sociopath. If I had only known....

1 comment:

  1. Yes, it does work! Mine has stalked me for four years but once he realized I was taping everything, he quit (the following and laying in wait at least). My story is very similar to yours - we share a child, which gave him carte blanche to do things to me he would have been arrested and charged for had he done them to a stranger. Wish there was a good way to get the word out to others like us.