Sunday, November 4, 2012

Some of the Best Advice I Ever Read Regarding Co-Parenting with Sociopaths

This is a summary of all of the different tips I have read on co-parenting with a sociopath. For me, every bit of this is true.

  1. Limit all contact with them. Obviously, if you have a child this is difficult to do but you can still set limits. Don't see the sociopath unless it is for parenting time exchanges. Don't talk to the sociopath. Communicate only in writing or through email. Don't let them come over to your house and ignore them if you see them in public.
  2. Never call them a sociopath except to those who already know it. This can and will be used against you.
  3. Expect them to try to gather supporters using sympathy. Sociopaths will use the children to accomplish this. Don't react to it.
  4. Don't believe a word they say. Sociopaths lie and manipulate to the extreme. Do not believe anything they say and don't let them suck you into their games.
  5. Show the court the conflict they cause and how this is detrimental to your child.
  6. Facilitate a relationship between the sociopath and the child so that you can show the court that you are not interfering in the other parents rights.
  7. Go to therapy and learn to control your emotions. Get support and start the recovery process. Transition from a victim into a warrior.
  8. Document everything that happens. Try to gather irrefutable and admissible evidence.
  9. A sociopaths weakness is that he doesn’t know how normal people feel. Use this to your advantage by feeding him false information. Let him think he is winning.
  10. Do everything in your power to raise an ethical and moral child. This is the ultimate prize.


  1. During a custody case is it wise to feed the sociopath with false information? and Could you give examples.

  2. This is a great point... I don't recommend trying to engage the sociopath by feeding them false information in a custody case. I wasnt refering to intentionally misleading the sociopath by lying about facts. This further engages him (or her) in the games they so love- a game we will never win. That being said: Sociopaths play many games with us- some of which are designed to do nothing more than yank our chains. Their main tool is being able to mimick emotions. How do they learn that? By watching us. How do we mislead them? By not reacting with the emotion, chaos, fear, or anger that such horrible games would normally warrant.

  3. I was just going to ask the same question. Good to know. I have found small snippets of sanity in not reacting the way he expects me to. I try to learn from him, as well, by staying on point. He has always been amazing at steering conversations (and indeed the entire court battle, as well as life in general) in the direction he wants to go, never wavering in the face of concerns brought up by me. I'm learning to do this too. I see our children mimicking him in that, and so I have to be just as good at redirecting with them as with him.