Sunday, July 22, 2012
The Failure of Law Enforcement to Protect Victims of Sociopaths
Like many survivors of sociopaths, I believed that I was taking control of my life when I began to hold "him" accountable for his behavior. Boy was I wrong. What I learned instead was that the system doesn’t help victims. In fact, it frequently hurts them.
The problem begins with local law enforcement. Now, I live in a very small town and for the most part the officers have always struck me as being kind and friendly. Then again, I had never needed them for anything before. To say that I was dismayed by their response is an understatement.
This all began with me filing for an ex-parte order of protection against him. Everything in my order was the absolute truth. I had a psychological evaluation, pictures, and witnesses to back up the events. I was sure that my son and I would be protected. Instead, here is what happened:
1. The Sherriff’s Department took a week to serve him. During this time, the sociopath continues to drive by my house slowing down and watching me. I call dispatch and am told that there is nothing they can do since he hasn’t been served yet.
2. He is finally served with the order of protection, but they failed to confiscate his weapons. He had known they were coming and given his guns to his friend in order to prevent the sheriff's deputy from taking them.
3. The sociopath is spotted by a neighbor’s daughter sitting at the corner of my road watching my son and me. He was approximately 20 feet from my property. I call dispatch and ask them to send an officer. The deputy arrives, listens to my complaint and refuses to speak to the witness. He tells me that there is nothing he can do, as it is a public road and my ex can sit and watch me all he wants. This is not a violation of the protection order. The deputy also refuses to write an incident report, giving me a line of crap about how he will be in trouble with the district attorney if he does.
4. The sociopath stops my son and me while we are walking in the road. There are other children present. He doesn’t threaten us, he just gives my son a hug and leaves. I do not call the Sherriff’s Department, but I log the incident and report it to my attorney. She sees this as an example to the judge that I am a reasonable person, but nothing is ever done with it.
5. My order of Protection is vacated at the December custody hearing. I am told to move forward, not backwards and see what happens.
6. The sociopath continues driving by my house two to four times daily. There are witnesses. Sometimes he flips me off and sometimes he stops in the road to get a better look.
7. At a custody exchange, the sociopath blocks my vehicle in the parking spot, refusing to let me get in my car. He tells me I am his enemy and promises me war. I drive to the Sherrif’s Department and speak with a deputy. He again refuses to make an incident report and tells me that the threats are not illegal because the sociopath doesn’t say specifically what he is going to do to me.
8. I complain to my appellate attorney, who sends a letter to the Sheriff. In it, he advises them that it is not within their power to deny me an incident report and asks him to direct his deputies to do so in the future.
9. My four year old son comes home from his sociopath father’s house telling me his father said if I “do it one more time, he is going to stab me in the stomach with a pocketknife and throw me into the river“. He also said his father told him he would send a stranger to kill his aunt. I audio record the statements. Once again, I visit the Sherriff’s Department. This time, I get an incident report and the deputy speaks with a witness by phone. I also give them a log of the drive by’s, photos, and video showing my ex accelerating his vehicle past my house.
Oh, and I did one more thing: I audio taped my conversation with the deputy. Still nothing is done and I remain unprotected.
Have you ever experienced this type of frustration from local law enforcement? If so, how did you handle it?